Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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