Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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