i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I feel like abortions should bother me more
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
