The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
