And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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