Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I love you.
Bad choice
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