so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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