How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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