Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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