um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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