We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Pants are for mortals
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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