We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
