I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
