i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
