omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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