can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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