I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
