just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just gargled with NyQuil
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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