Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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