Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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