You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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