how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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