Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
