so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
