I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
