think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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