im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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