Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
