Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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