Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
