the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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