I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
