He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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