he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
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