He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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