It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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