I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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