I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
