Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
