it's too hot outside to masturbate.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
