Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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