dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
