i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
