just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
