You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
