I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
