stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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