I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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