i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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