I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
